Unmarried & Cohabiting Couples

A Fair Way to Separate When There Was No Marriage License

Non-Married Couple Separation Mediation San Diego

Ending a long-term relationship without being married doesn't mean there's nothing to sort out. Common Ground Mediation helps unmarried and cohabiting couples in San Diego divide property, untangle shared finances, and agree on next steps - without the confusion of not knowing what rights either of you actually has.

$375

Per hour · No retainer required

Clients Served

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Successful Resolution Rate

0 %

Rating & Reviews

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Meet Nicole Oliva

Your San Diego Mediator for Unmarried Couples

Nicole Oliva combines formal mediation training with legal literacy and personal experience navigating major relationship transitions. As a Pepperdine MDR graduate and former federal EEO investigator, she understands that unmarried couples separating face a different - and often more confusing - set of questions than divorcing spouses do, since California family law doesn't automatically apply the same rules. She helps partners sort through what's actually shared, what belongs to each person individually, and what a fair path forward looks like, without either partner needing to guess at their legal footing alone.

Nicole Oliva

Founder & Mediator

How Mediation Can Help You

How Separation Mediation for Unmarried Couples in San Diego Can Help

Unmarried couples splitting up in California don't go through a divorce process - but that doesn't mean the separation is simple. Here's where Common Ground Mediation consistently helps.

Clarity on What You're Actually Dividing

California does not recognize common-law marriage, and unmarried partners don't automatically receive the community property or spousal support rights that apply to married couples. That means property division often comes down to whose name is on the title, who paid for what, and any agreements - written or implied - made along the way. Mediation gives you a structured space to work through that instead of guessing at it.

Private and Off the Record

Unmarried couples who can't agree on property or support sometimes end up in civil court through what's known as a Marvin action. Mediation offers a private, non-litigated alternative - keeping the conversation between you, your former partner, and a neutral mediator instead of in a courtroom filing.

Faster Than a Civil Lawsuit

A contested property or support claim between unmarried partners can take months to resolve in civil court. Mediation moves at the pace both people are ready for, often resolving the practical questions - who keeps what, who owes what, how a shared lease or home gets handled - in a handful of sessions.

Room for the Whole Picture

Long-term unmarried relationships often involve shared bank accounts, a home bought together, pets, and sometimes years of intertwined finances that don't fit neatly into "his" or "hers." Nicole helps both partners name what's actually being divided before trying to divide it.

Child-Centered When Kids Are Involved

California law treats child custody, visitation, and child support the same way regardless of whether the parents were married - parentage and child support obligations apply either way. If you share children, mediation can address a parenting plan alongside the separation itself.

Flexible Process

Sessions are available virtually via Zoom for San Diego and statewide clients, in person, or in a hybrid format, so the process fits your situation rather than the other way around.

No marriage, no divorce court - still deserves a clear resolution. Let's talk.

What Our Clients Say

What San Diego Clients Say About Separation Mediation at Common Ground

Certifications,Associations,Guarantee

"Nicole was the first person who made us feel like we could actually slow down and work through things instead of just fighting about them. She didn't talk over us or make us feel stupid for not understanding the process. She took the time to explain things in a way that actually made sense, helped us break overwhelming issues into smaller pieces, and made us feel more involved and empowered in the decisions we were making instead of feeling pushed into them.

What stood out most was that she genuinely cared about helping us create solutions that worked for our real life, not just what looked good on paper. The process felt calm, private, structured, and human during one of the hardest periods of our lives.”

Verified Client, Separation and Co-Parenting Mediation, Southern California

"As an LGBT couple, we weren't sure if a mediator would truly understand our specific situation. Nicole did without us having to over-explain. She got it. That made everything so much easier."

Verified Client, LGBT Couple Separation, San Diego

"We had already spoken with two attorneys and felt more overwhelmed after each conversation. Nicole helped us step back, focus on what actually mattered, and make decisions we both felt good about. We saved thousands of dollars and so much stress."

Verified Client, Divorce Mediation, Southern California

"The process felt calm, private, structured, and human during one of the hardest periods of our lives. She helped us realize things — she helped us feel like we could actually survive this."

Verified Client, Southern California

Why Trust Common Ground

How We Work

The Separation Mediation Process for Unmarried Couples at Common Ground

A structured process for a situation that doesn't come with a built-in legal roadmap.

1

Free Consultation

A free, no-pressure conversation where Nicole takes time to understand your situation - how long you were together, what's shared, whether there are children or a cohabitation agreement - and helps you understand what mediation can realistically address. No retainer required.

II

Intake and Preparation

Both partners share relevant information through a private client portal - property, accounts, debts, any written agreements - so sessions can start focused instead of spent reconstructing the full picture from scratch.

III

Mediation Sessions

Structured sessions, held virtually via Zoom or in person in San Diego, work through property division, shared debts, the handling of a jointly held lease or home, pet custody, and - if applicable - a parenting plan for shared children. Both partners get equal space to be heard.

IV

Agreement and Closure

A clear, practical written agreement documenting how the separation will be handled - built to reflect what you both actually agreed to, not a generic template. Because unmarried couples' agreements are grounded in contract principles rather than the divorce process, Nicole can coordinate with a family law attorney where a legally reviewed or notarized agreement is appropriate.

Why Couples Choose Us

Why San Diego's Unmarried Couples Choose Common Ground

Understands the Legal Gray Area

Nicole knows that unmarried couples don't have a Family Code roadmap to follow the way divorcing spouses do. Instead of assuming rights that may not exist, she helps both partners work from what's actually documented, titled, or agreed - so the outcome holds up.

Lived Perspective

Nicole has personally navigated major relationship transitions and understands the emotional weight of ending a long-term partnership, married or not. That perspective shapes sessions that are practical without losing sight of what the relationship meant.

No Assumptions About Your Relationship

Common Ground works with all kinds of long-term partnerships - cohabiting couples, non-married parents, long-term partners who chose not to marry - without requiring anyone to justify why they didn't get married in the first place.

Genuinely Neutral

Nicole does not advocate for one partner over the other and does not push either person toward a particular division of property or outcome. Both partners receive equal information and equal voice.

Cost-Conscious Approach

Mediation is significantly less expensive than a contested civil claim, and sessions are structured to move toward resolution - not to drag out an already difficult situation.

Coordinated Support When Needed

When a cohabitation agreement, quitclaim deed, or other legal document needs to be drafted or reviewed, Nicole can coordinate with a California family law or civil attorney so your mediated agreement is properly documented.

unmarried couple mediation cost San Diego

What Does Separation Mediation Cost for Unmarried Couples in San Diego?

Because unmarried couples aren't required to go through a court process to separate, cost is often the first thing people wonder about - is this even necessary if we're not divorcing? For couples with shared property, debt, a lease, or children, the honest answer is that resolving those questions clearly is worth far more than what it costs to leave them undefined. A contested Marvin claim filed in civil court can run into significant attorney fees and take months to resolve; mediation is structured to be a fraction of that cost and timeline.

Common Ground Mediation offers tiered and custom-quoted packages based on what needs to be addressed - a straightforward split of shared expenses looks different from years of commingled finances and a jointly owned home. Sessions are priced per couple, and a free initial consultation is always available so you understand the scope before committing to anything. No retainer is required to begin.

Beyond the direct cost, mediation reduces the risk of a dispute resurfacing months or years later as a formal legal claim. A clear, mutually understood agreement now is often what prevents an informal breakup from turning into a contested court matter down the road.

What affects the total cost?

The bigger picture

Beyond the financial cost, consider how long unresolved conflict has already been affecting your daily life, stress levels, parenting dynamic, and peace of mind. Many clients find that investing in structured mediation earlier saves not just money — but months or years of emotional exhaustion.

Separation Mediation

Contested Marvin Claim / Civil Suit

Average Cost

Significantly lower

Can run into the tens of thousands

Timeline

Weeks to a few months

Months to over a year

Privacy

Fully confidential

Public court record

Control Over Outcome

Both partners decide

Judge decides

Legal Standard Applied

Mutual agreement

Contract and equitable claims

Flexibility

High

Low

* Pricing subject to change. Exact scope and cost discussed during consultation. Payment accepted via credit/debit card, Venmo, Zelle, and cash for in-person sessions.

Mediation vs. a Contested Property Claim: What Unmarried San Diego Couples Should Know

Mediation

Contested Civil Claim

"Conflict doesn't have to end in destruction. With the right structure, people move forward with clarity and dignity."

Start a Conversation

Book Your Free Consultation for Unmarried Couple Separation Mediation in San Diego

All information shared in your initial consultation is completely confidential. We do not share your details with anyone. This is simply a conversation.

No spam. No pressure. We respond within one business day.

Not Married Doesn't Mean Not Complicated.

A free, no-pressure consultation is the first step. Nicole will talk through your situation honestly, help you understand what's actually on the table, and help you decide whether mediation is the right way to separate - before you commit to anything.

Frequently Asked Questions

FAQs About Separation Mediation for Unmarried Couples in San Diego

These are the questions San Diego clients most commonly ask before starting mediation as an unmarried couple. If your question isn't here, Nicole will answer it directly.

Do unmarried couples in California have the same rights as married couples when they separate?

No. California does not recognize common-law marriage, and unmarried partners do not automatically receive community property rights or spousal support the way married couples do under the Family Code. Instead, property and support questions between unmarried partners are generally governed by contract principles established in Marvin v. Marvin (1976) - meaning outcomes depend on written or implied agreements, title, and documented contributions, not automatic statutory rules.

What is a Marvin agreement, and does mediation cover it?

A Marvin agreement (sometimes called a cohabitation agreement) is a contract between unmarried partners addressing property, expenses, or support. If you already have one, mediation can help you apply it to your separation. If you don't, mediation can still help you reach a mutual agreement about how to divide things fairly going forward - though for legally binding documentation, Nicole may coordinate with a family law attorney.

We're registered California domestic partners, not just living together - does this apply to us?

Not quite. Registered domestic partners generally have the same state-level rights and obligations as married spouses under California Family Code §297.5, and typically go through a dissolution process similar to divorce. If you're a registered domestic partner, our Separation & Divorce Mediation service is likely the better fit - Nicole can confirm which applies during your free consultation.

What if we have children together but were never married?

Child custody, visitation, and child support obligations apply the same way regardless of whether the parents were married, once parentage is established. Mediation can address a parenting plan alongside your separation, or you can work with Nicole separately through Parenting Plan Development or Co-Parenting Mediation.

What issues can this type of mediation actually resolve?

Common topics include division of shared property and furniture, who stays in a jointly leased or owned home, division of shared debts and accounts, reimbursement for contributions one partner made toward the other's property, pet custody, and - where applicable - a parenting plan for shared children.

What happens if we can't reach an agreement through mediation?

If mediation doesn't resolve every issue, either partner retains the right to pursue a claim in civil court, sometimes referred to as a Marvin action. Nicole will tell you honestly if a dispute seems unlikely to resolve through mediation and can refer you to a family law or civil attorney for next steps.